January 26, 2008

Complimenten voor de kák

Als ik ergens dol op ben, is het op pretentieuze parvenu's die door de mand vallen. Nog steeds krijg ik tranen in mijn ogen van het lachen van de situatie die ooit zo treffend beschreven is door mijn collega Rosé Lokhoff.

Copyright: BN/DeStem

Over de kakbal die op hoge poten met een zeer geaffecteerd accent de eigenaar van het Chinese restaurant aan tafel eiste omdat er kurk (meneer sprak het uit als kárk) in zijn wijn zou zitten. Waarop de restaurateur, zoals het een ware Chinees betaamt, hem met een ondoorgrondelijk uitgestreken gezicht de mond snoerde met de onsterfelijke uitspraak: 'Kan niet, wijn komt uit pak'.

Donderdagavond verslikte ik me vrolijk in het restaurant van de sauna. Daar zat een grijzende en iets te dikke nouveau riche, in het bezit van onder meer een gouden halsketting en idem Rolex, een aanmerkelijk slankere én jongere vriendin en een bekakt aksánt.

Meneer zat zijn gebotoxte gade uit te leggen dat de satésaus van een onaards niveau was. Zéker zélf gemaakt, écht geheel iets anders dan je tegenwoordig bij de meeste restaurants aantreft, die alleen maar plastic bakken van de ISPC of de Sligro magnotronnen.

Het kon haar kennelijk niet bijzonder boeien, hetgeen hem desondanks niet belette om de serveerster te bevelen om de kok (uitgesproken als kák) zijn complimenten betreffende de 'verrékt hemelse' satésaus te doen toekomen.

'De kák zal er blij mee zijn, meneer', antwoordde het meisje met een sardonische grijns, 'maar u kunt misschien beter een mailtje naar Remia sturen'

Posted by Leon at 07:54 PM | Comments (0)

April 30, 2007

Voluptuousness

Very interesting discussion on Wired, a multi media success in the US. Wired is a magazine, a website, a blog, Wired is paper, digital and mobile content, Wired is much more than is used to be, a magazine about computers,Internet, technology. For instance; an article about sex, Is 'Internet Normal' the New 'Sex Normal'?

A lot of my fellow countrymen over here in The Netherlands not only think, but they know for sure that most Americans are very puritanical people. Like our Christian Historic party, that's against most forms of too visible parts, of too much body. Dutch people don't see that one can also see The United States as fifty different countries, with a lot of different people, cultures and idea's.

in Dutch at @ BN/DeStem

Wired is most read in California, and New York; Wired is from progressive America.

The big question in the column, part of the Friday series 'Sex Drive' was if Regina Lynn, and the producers and listeners to a Playboy radio interview we would allow their children to be in a class with a teacher if they knew that teacher was into heavy BDSM, including cutting or "hanging by his skin."

Lynn said yes: the teacher shouldn't discuss his sex life with students; a teacher is not a student's friend or peer. But having a sex life, whether it is 100 percent vanilla or kinkier than even I want to think about, is every adults right.

Host Tiffany Granath and her producers were more cautious. They said if they didn't share the teacher's proclivities and weren't in the same scene, the only way they would learn about his behavior is if he wasn't discreet enough. And in that case, the kids could find out. And that would apparently be bad.

An interesting stalemate, bogging down into a discussion about what's normal and what not. Inevitable in every discussion where (child)porn is not allowed, because in every case somebody has to define if rules or regulations are exceeded.

(According to bestselling American author and Pulitzer Prize-winning humorist Dave Barry: The big problem with pornography is defining it. You can't just say it's pictures of people naked. For example, you have these primitive African tribes that exist by chasing the wildebeest on foot, and they have to go around largely naked, because, as the old tribal saying goes: "N'wam k'honi soit qui mali," which means, "If you think you can catch a wildebeest in this climate and wear clothes at the same time, then I have some beach front property in the desert region of Northern Mali that you may be interested in."So it's not considered pornographic when National Geographic publishes color photographs of these people hunting the wildebeest naked, or pounding one rock onto another rock for some primitive reason naked, or whatever. But if National Geographic were to publish an article entitled "The Girls of the California Junior College System Hunt the Wildebeest Naked," some people would call it pornography. But others would not. And still others, such as the Spectacularly Rev. Jerry Falwell, would get upset about seeing the wildebeest naked.)

Like Dutch Christian Historic Union Leader André Rouvoet and his party members, who think that a nice and clean girl in a golden Hönkemuller bikini is out of bounds, while most Dutch passers by don't even bother to look at the billboard in question.

One step further is another billboard, on which a bit more fatal girl is ready to throw her black bra in your face. I don't mind this one too, but I'm asking myself where and when I will reach my personal turning point

When the voluptuous trend in these adds keeps rising, the time will come that I agree with Rouvoet. That uncomfortable thought worries me the most.

Posted by Leon at 12:44 PM | Comments (1)

April 24, 2007

Bit stupid

They're the kind of discussions I always to steer away from at birthday parties or at the bar in the local pub: about the police or the lovely Rita's (the meter maids). You know, peoplecomplain ing about getting a ticket for a red light that was green, about parking tickets, whatever, and it's never their own fault. Such a waste of time.

I dislike them even more because ever so often I'm the only who says no nagging or whining please. Who says that the world would be a much better place it half thepopulation obeyed some rules, while the other half stops complaining about the fact that rules are made to be observed to begin with.

Having said that: to err is human, so I had to pay twenty dollars - twice - because of minor speeding on the A16 between Breda and Rotterdam. For two reasons a bit stupid. First, because I didn't see the black Volvo parked on the soft verge on the roadside.

The second reason is even more stupid and those who don't want to understand, should fulfill an apprenticeship for one day in a hospital where they're trying to rebuild the wrecked bodies - and minds - of those who were victim of their own speeding, or got hit by someone else.

I've had it with the stupid reactions at pub and birthday parties, when I try to explain so. I've had it with the guys who raise an eyebrow: 'tsssk, I didn't know you were such a right winger'.

Do I have nothing to complain about policeman or meter maid?

Well, just one little problem, that probably will be solved when someone at city hall reads the Dutch Version of this column. In July 2004 I've posted a notice of objection, when I received a parking ticket for reasons unclear to me. I've got no idea what City Hall sees a normal term for a procedure like this, but 30 months later I'm still waiting for an answer. Maybe a bit stupid, but not my own fault.

Posted by Leon at 12:17 PM | Comments (0)

February 12, 2007

A change of climate?

I wonder if my biology teacher from the seventies is still alive. In his left hand holding 'The Report To The Club Of Rome', with his other hand slamming his desk, predicting that we would never see the daylight of January 1, 2000.

Some ten years later we were daily showered with stories about acid rain en leafless woods, an now, in 2007, the climate is the hottest issue.

in Dutch at @ BN/DeStem

It doesn't make me warm or cold, but I wonder were Al Gore is lecturing these days. His own country is - even in California - struggling with the effects of an extreme severe and vicious winter. That doesn't mesh with his 'Inconvenient Truth' , but if you look somewhat further than your own nose is long, you will find scientists and researchers galore, who call Gore's movie a 'Convenient Lie'.

Climatologist Hans Labohm and professor Salomon Kroonenberg don't call Gore a white liar, but they produce some refreshing sounds.

Both are pointing out the possibility of an approaching small ice age.

According to Labohm about one quarter of his fellow craftsman has a suspicion of global warming, about twenty percent thinks it's all rubbish, while the rest simply admits they don't know if or what's going on.

Kroonenburg suggests in his book 'De Menselijke Maat' (The Human Size) that we maybe better put some extra carbon dioxide into the air for those who live in the next millennium: some extra heath might be welcome by then.

By the way: according to Gore's measuring rod there's also global warming on Mars. To remind you: there's only one car driving on that planet, and that's powered by solar energy.

Meanwhile NASA satellites show us that the ice cap on the south pole is still growing, and that a new small glacial period might as well smack bang begin somewhere between 2012 and 2020. We hardly ever read anything about it, but when an ice floe as big of Vermont breaks loose - daily practice over there - it's on the front page of every newspaper in the world.

'But why', asked an anchor woman with a red hot flushed face Hans Labohm, 'do we never read about what you are telling us?'

Labohm kept his cool: 'because you never ask us . . .'.

The complete answer therefore is that we, the media, only lend our ears to the doom mongering minority of climatologists and parroting politicians.

You'd better buy some warm sweaters while they're still on sale . . .

Link: Woudhuysen and Kaplinsky: A man-made morality tale

Posted by Leon at 12:14 PM | Comments (0)